we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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