my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
