it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Alive.
So much puke
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
