I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
