Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
