To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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