I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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