would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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