found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize