the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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