Jerry, you need to find god
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
