sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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