Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
