mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
