You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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