Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
