Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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