In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
