sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Is this like a preordered booty call?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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