I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
