Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
