dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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