why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
