I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
