She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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