Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
