Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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