Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
that's an acceptable place to lick
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
