We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
