Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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