White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
