The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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