just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize