whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
