Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
