Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
