We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
