It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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