You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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