I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
