lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
