Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
