I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
