Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
