Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
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