Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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