seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
