I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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