Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize