I want to have your abortion
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
