so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
