The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
