How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize