I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize