Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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