these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
