You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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