Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
