put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
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