in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize