im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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