i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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