she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
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