Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
