lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
